Funny Emails

Why Homework Should Be Banned

Roger Tuckerman explains why homework should be banned in high school.

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From: tuckermanroger@gmail.com
To: darwin.high@ntschools.net
Subject: Ban Homework NOW!

Dear Principal,

My son Randolph is in grade ten, and I’m upset at how much homework you’ve been giving him. Studying for tests is taking a toll on his physical and mental health. I think he’s on the verge of a nervous breakdown!

The reality is, my son has no time for homework. Like most millennials his age, he spends three hours a day on his cell phone and four hours a day watching Netflix. How is he supposed to do two hours a day of homework? It’s impossible! Do the math!

Studying for tests is so stressful for my boy that he often becomes hysterical and eats three bags of potato chips, two plates of French fries and a baked potato to calm himself down. Due to his extreme potato diet, he weighs 200 pounds despite being only five-foot two.

Worse still, no girls at your school will date him because he’s too fat. His ass is so big I had to special order jeans from Chubster. If he didn’t have to do so much homework, he could lose 50 pounds by going to hot yoga!

What’s the point of homework anyway? Randolph’s career goal is to be a taxi driver. Do you really think studying for a test is going to prepare him to get a class four driver’s license! I don’t think so!

Going to high school should be a no-stress experience: Just show up, sit down and listen! Students don’t need to “prove” they’ve learned anything. What’s the point of spending hours trying to memorize “useless” academic knowledge? All it proves is you can remember stuff, which years later, you will totally forget!

I’m asking that you ban homework immediately! If you don’t, I will have no choice but to transfer Randolph to school in Sweden that has banned all tests. If a student never gets a bad grade, it’s very good for their self-esteem!

Sincerely,

Roger Tuckerman

8 comments

  1. I think that some degree of homework has its usefulness, but past that point it’s just busy work. The amount assigned in schools today is outrageous. Students don’t have time to be kids! As for Roger’s son, a little math homework might help in his future taxi driving business to sign contracts and distribute change.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. We don’t need no education.
    We don’t need no thought-control.
    No dark sarcasm in the classroom.
    Teachers leave those kids alone.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Ironic and so relatable!
    What is interesting is how the stress of school homework remains the same across oceans and nations…Though I do not intend to drive a taxi someday..but surely the homework did take a toll on me as it takes on my brother these days…
    I am definitely recommending this post to all my teachers !

    Liked by 1 person

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